Last year on the weekend before the holiday we attended the St. Patricks Day parade.
We awoke early (6 am) to get dressed and head over to the pregame house (yes, that early in the morning)
As you can tell we take the holiday serious (Jason's green jacket) and do it right!
We dance, sing and partake in beverages.
Little did I know that the day after my most embrassing moment in my life so far would happen.
My life is full of embarrassing moments that I feel only make me a stronger person because I have learned to laugh it off. This particular story is by far the worst for me. Just to forewarn I am a nurse and bodily functions do not gross me out (when you get pooped, peed, vomited, etc on everyday the smells become your perfume. Yes, eau du poop is my fav scent and husband just adores that smell on me; note the sarcasm.
After the St. Patty's Day parade my husband, friends Ashley and Brandon and I went to Olive Garden. I got what I always got which was soup, salad and bread sticks. Ashley ordered the eggplant Parmesan and a salad. The boys did not get any salad at all. We gorged on this feast and continued on with the day of celebration. Later on that night around 3 am we awoke to Ashley hugging the porcelain god. Since the day consisted of "celebration" we thought nothing of it and proceed to make fun of her as we do with everyone who worships that god. The next morning she was still feeling horrible and had to drive about 4 hours home. We wished her luck and proceeded to go about our day.
Later on around late afternoon I told Jason that I was not feeling well. I went to lay on the bathroom just in case. Well, boy did I need to attend "church". My whole life flashed before my eyes as I got sick. Now, when either Jason or I get sick our house becomes a Lysol cloud and we sleep in separate rooms. He proceeded to pack up his things in the bedroom and prepare to move into the guest room for night even after I told him that we had slept together the night before and smooched during the day. I think in my head I was kinda hoping he would join me on the roller coaster ride (cruel but we like to do things together).
Anyways, I was on the bed with my head in a bucket and prayed I could get off this ride. I could not even move my head, heck could not even blink without getting sick. Later that evening Jason went to shower. Our apartment had only one bathroom. Jason and I have never had a problem going #1 in front of each other, however #2 is private and no one should witness that!
As he is showering I realize that the creature from the Black Lagoon is trying to gnaw its way out of my stomach. I manage to crawl to the bathroom with tears rolling down my eyes because I know what is coming. I tell Jason, well I sob to him,
"Stay in the shower".
He is like "What? Whats wrong? You going to get sick again?"
I then proceed to "release the beast" crying my eyes out because my husband who is suppose to think I am an adorable, beautiful woman is standing in the shower next to me as my bowels move.
Jason then proceeds to ask me if I am vomiting but midway through his sentence I think he realized what was going on. I think he actually started to laugh which led me to cry and laugh. I then proceeded to start screaming at him to "STAY IN THE SHOWER" out of fear that he would not only hear what is going on but see. He had finished his shower but stood in the bathtub with the curtain closed until I told him he could come out which was not for another 20 minutes.
Needless to say I had food poisoning from Olive Garden salad. BOO!
My husband witnessed an "explosion" that could have ruined his image of me.
However, he was the kind, caring husband he always is and took care of me.
Even if he did joke about it for a long time. That's okay though because I can tell the story now and laugh about it. By far the most embarrassing moment of my life so far. I am sure there will be many more!!!
3 comments:
Oh man! Isn't there always just that moment after you get married that you realized that there are just certain things you'd rather have him not witness?
Have you eaten Olive Garden since then? I won't get into specifics, but Brian was a waiter at an Olive Garden back in the day, and a man had a heart attack. Brian have him CPR and the guy coughed up his salad. Needless to say, he doesn't eat the salad anymore...
No have not eaten there since then. I do not know if I could eat the salad out of fear of a repeat. I can not allow Jason to witness that disaster again. I swear I do not know how he stills sleeps with me!!!! Now that is dedication to our marriage vows.
this is too funny! i hate when things like that happen. but it is a good think you have a very loving and understanding hubby. :)
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