Hello there. My name is Link.
Thank you! Yes, I am adorable.
However I am CRAZY.
I live in this crazy house with my inferior human owners. They think that they run this household however I feel differently. I believe that I let them live here!
My birth name may be Link but no one calls me that. First off, my original name was Zelda however around the 8th week of my existence it was discovered that I was not a female. Shocking! Therefore the humans renamed me the male counterpart of the video game phenomenon. Nicknames eventually starting developing based on my personality and looks. The first was Hellboy; they are obsessed with comic books in this house. Hellboy fits though because I have these large paws with lots of extra claws (I'm special and exotic). One paw is larger so it definitely looks like Hellboy's large hand.
After a long list of other nicknames, some not appropriate and only used when I get in trouble, one name stuck. They call me Squishy. You know, from the movie Finding Nemo. Dory says: I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Yes I am a little pudgy but COME ON! How insulting is it to go from Link to Squishy. Its not even a real name. GEEZ!
I like to bring excitement to this house. That involves trying to climb every window covering, shower curtain or anything that hangs. I am an adventure junkie. I also love to sing. Late at night I serenade the humans. I usually get a few good notes in before they pull out the squirt bottle. Ha, they think that will stop me! I then proceed to play the "I'll bite your foot till you give in and let me hog the bed" game. I ALWAYS win.
I also love to be wherever my owners are including the shower. Don't even think of shutting the door because I will annoy you to death until you open it! I love to sit on the bath tub ledge and stare at you. Don't judge, I am just curious. When you are done showering I want you to pick me up and let me lick the water off your arm, legs, etc. The humans say that is gross so I proceed to bite them while they try to dry off. Yesterday I bit the beautiful female one on the butt. It was not hard to reach because she has a large butt. I think that song "I Like Big Butts" is about her.
I think I will let them stay here a little while longer just because they entertain me. Stupid humans!
**Yes, my cat nippled my naked butt yesterday. Sad thing is: That is the most action I have had since I gave birth**